December 7, 2023

By Courtney Wise

Also in this edition: U.S. schools are the next institutions to turn to online counseling. You’ll also see a roundup of the most amusing parenting tweets of the week, why Grace Makutsi of The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency mysteries kept her pregnancy a secret, and the risks of ‘snowplow parenting.’

Plus: another update to “Two Fathers, Two Versions of Hell.”

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Husband of Moms for Liberty co-founder under investigation

In 2022 we first wrote about Moms for Liberty in a story by David Tuller called “What’s Behind The Protests Against Schools Trying to Boost Kids’ Mental Health?” In it, we explored the role of dark money in bankrolling so-called grassroots parents’ groups that oppose social-emotional learning – an issue that seemed designed to woo conservative voters. Moms for Liberty also supports bans on books discussing LGBTQ, race and discrimination and have harassed school librarians in a number of states, with at least one M4L member threatening gun violence against them. 

The co-founder of this far-right group is Bridget Ziegler, the wife of Christian Ziegler, chair of the Florida Republican Party. Bridget Ziegler is no longer with the group, but her husband credited Moms for Liberty for bringing new voters to the GOP: “I have been trying for a dozen years to get 20- and 30-year-old females involved with the Republican Party, and it was a heavy lift to get that demographic,” said Christian Ziegler. “But now Moms for Liberty has done it for me.”

But Christian Ziegler is now on the hot seat. According to a search warrant shared with NBC News by the Florida Center for Government Accountability, a woman who has known the couple for some years told police that Christian Ziegler raped her at her apartment on October 2 of this year. Ziegler, who has not been charged, denies that, saying the encounter was consensual. The matter is under “active criminal investigation,” according to Sarasota police.

In the search warrant, Bridget Ziegler also told detectives that she and her husband had had consensual three-way sex with the woman last year. The irony was not lost on the Miami Herald, which ran a story about the affair headlined “If the Moms for Liberty co-founder had sex with a woman, why is she targeting gays?”

The news has caused a rift in Moms for Liberty, with a local chapter in Northumberland County, Pennsylvania, leaving the national organization entirely. “It’s hard to advocate for parental rights when the co-founder is caught up in the scandal,” chapter chair Clarissa Paige told The News Item. “Our values are not aligning with the national organization.” The Florida Republican Party also wants Christian Ziegler to resign, with even Gov. Ron DeSantis saying that he should step down. – Diana Hembree

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The emotional burden of Parent Plus loans

USA Today just ran article on the staggering debt that often saddles Parent PLUS borrowers. Many of the parents interviewed were Black, who say the easy-to-qualify-for loans were their only way to afford college for their children. In many Black households, college completion is seen as a guaranteed ticket to the middle class, and parents are willing to take on the loans to pay for their children’s future. However, Black families earn only about half as much as white families on average, and the interest rates on Parent Plus loans are much higher than those for undergraduate loans, around 8.05%, compared to 5.5%.. Without federal intervention, many parents expect to be in debt until they die – a heavy emotional toll, especially because some feel forced to keep working and postpone their retirement indefinitely. One father said of a $100,00 loan he was carrying: “It’s a blessing and a burden at the same time.” 

Experts see an urgent need for reform. “It evolved into a space where you saw more Black borrowers and more middle-income borrowers using the parent PLUS loan as a resource,” said Brittani Williams, a researcher and advocate with the Education Trust, who co-authored a report on parent PLUS and Black borrowers. “And I use that term very loosely because I think that resources should be helpful.”

The NAACP has called on the Biden Administration to consider Parent Plus borrowers in the SAVE plan, which could provide them with substantial support. But barring that, borrowers in the Parent Plus plan can still get into the SAVE program through a legal loophole: double consolidation of their Parent Plus loans, according to NPR. (That loophole will likely end on July 1, 2025.) The Education Department and Servicers will not help you, according to NPR, which adds that it can still be done. Here is an explainer from the Student Loan Planner, the College Investor and a detailed guide on lowering your Payment Plus loans, including the double consolidation loophole, from the Massachusetts government.

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The end of a Palestinian poet’s sojourn in hell

The New Yorker via Twitter

We’ve followed Palestinian poet and author Mosab Abu Toha in MindSite News, from the loss of friends, neighbors and 30 members of his family during the relentless bombing of Gaza, seeing his home and neighborhood turned to rubble, his longing for a ceasefire in “Two Fathers, Two Versions of Hell,” his family’s flight to a refugee camp under bombardment, and his detainment and beating by the Israeli military. This week, there was good news at last: he was finally able to leave the war zone in Gaza. He, his wife, and children made it to Egypt this past Sunday morning.

Though physically safe, Toha explains that he is not at peace in a post on X, formerly known as Twitter. “Dear friends, I made it to Egypt [this] morning with my wife and three children. My heart and mind are not yet safe as my parents and siblings and their little kids continue to be in danger,” he wrote, adding a plea: “Just in the past 24 hours, Israel killed more than 700 people. Gazans in the north and in Gaza City have been asked to head south. Now the south is being heavily bombed. Please stop the carnage. Stop your inhumanity. Be human again.”

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With too few in-school counselors, US schools turn to online counseling 

The shortage of school counselors has public school districts turning to telehealth therapy to support students. Currently, 16 of the 20 largest public school districts in the nation offer online therapy, reports the Associated Press, yielding telehealth service providers more than $70 million in contracts. Maria Ishoo’s second-grade daughter began online therapy after suffering verbal and physical bullying from her schoolmates. “This is how we can prevent people from falling through the cracks,” Ishoo said. Rural school districts and those that serve students living in low-income communities say online therapy is easier to access, because sessions can happen during the school day or after hours from home. But there are drawbacks to the growth of telehealth school counseling, too. Virtual counseling can make it harder for districts to fill in-person vacancies, and some school leaders worry about the quality of care it can provide long term.

“We have 44 counselor vacancies, and telehealth definitely impacts our ability to fill them,” said Doreen Hogans, supervisor of school counseling in Prince George’s County, Maryland. She said that teletherapy jobs offer more flexible hours, attracting about 20 percent of the school counseling workforce. As for profit corporations, they’re poised to earn big money with schools too, prompting Kevin Dahill-Fuchel of Counseling in Schools to wonder if companies are incentivized to prioritize profits over quality care and sound privacy practices. “As we give these young people access to telehealth, I want to hear how all these other bases are covered,” he said.

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In other news…

About 10 years ago, I read The Minor Adjustment Beauty Salon, #14 in Alexander McCall Smith’s The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency mysteries. In the book, supporting character Grace Makutsi is noticeably pregnant, but makes no mention of her status until mere weeks before the baby’s birth. I couldn’t understand her reasoning until I became aware of the difficulty many couples have when trying to conceive or bring a baby from the womb to the world. These days, the Washington Post reports real-life couples are now opting out of pregnancy announcements in favor of birth announcements only. “Grace” and her partner chose against pregnancy announcements after their first two ended in pregnancy loss. “Having things that you keep sacred to yourself in a world where you can share so much is beautiful,” she said.

You want your child to succeed? Let them fail sometimes. Constantly removing obstacles is a hallmark of “snowplow parenting” in which parents do everything for their children. The intent is to promote efficiency and protect children from harm, wrote psychologist Mark Travers in this column for Forbes, but too much intervention prevents youth from developing independence and problem-solving, learning to successfully navigate conflict and figuring out how to recover from failure.

Like author Séamas O’Reilly who penned this column for The Guardian, I generally get a hoot out of very young children cussing. Parents always wonder “who they learned those words from” and the answer is usually “mom or dad first.” But it’s socially unacceptable to toss profanities about all willy-nilly in general conversation, so in the interest of our children’s social acceptability, we parents have to choke back our laughs when the words are repeated at home. Or, if you’re like me and incapable of stifling laughter, we pretend to cough or sneeze and walk out of the room in an effort to discourage a repeat performance. 

Parenting offers plenty of laughs, as evidenced by these posts from moms and dads on the site formerly known as Twitter, collected by the Huffpost. My favorite: The image of a popsicle stick precariously glued to a Dixie cup with the caption, “Cleaning up after young kids means constantly having to guess whether stuff like this is garbage or the single most important possession that your 5-year-old daughter owns at this moment.” The picture may as well have been taken at my house. 

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If you or someone you know is in crisis or experiencing suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline and connect in English or Spanish. If you’re a veteran press 1. If you’re deaf or hard of hearing dial 711, then 988. Services are free and available 24/7.

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