Navigating Sibling Relationships While Caring For An Aging Parent

As we age, so do our parents, leaving many of us the responsibility of providing them with care.

Around 63 million people actively care for a family member with a medical condition or disability in the US, according to a 2025 report from the National Alliance on Caregiving and AARP. Considering eldercare alone, 2023 data from the US Bureau of Labor and Statistics finds that roughly 14% of the nation provides unpaid care for older adults. Now factor in shifting roles between parent and child and the dynamics of sibling relationships. It’s no wonder that many people report that caring for aging parents impacts their connections with siblings – not always for the better. 

“I got to see a side of my sister that I don’t particularly like,” Katrina, who asked that her last name be withheld for privacy, told The Guardian. “It’s probably the same for her.” It’s not that there was an issue with the care they provided for their parents. They just struggled at times, including with boundaries regarding each sister’s scope of responsibility. Once their parents died, they “never did a debrief, and there’s a lot hanging out there” about the slights they felt but left unspoken. Years later, their relationship is still strained.

Experts say that the best ways to avoid conflict while caring for aging parents are: have difficult, practical conversations early; think about estate planning while parents still can; and remember to maintain connections to siblings beyond the shared responsibility of caring for your parent(s).

As Jerome, a college student in Zadie Smith’s novel On Beauty, mused about his siblings, “He did not consider if or how or why he loved them. They were just love. They were the first evidence he ever had of love, and they would be the last confirmation of love when everything else fell away.”

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