After Her Bullied Trans Child Died by Suicide, a Mother Pleads for Kindness

Ashley Campbell’s son Miles Phipps was 5 years old the first time she warned him about bullies. She’d meant for the information to protect him from harm, Campbell told the Des Moines Register, after he insisted on wearing a suit to an upcoming father-daughter dance. It’s up to you, she told him, reminding him that  “people are mean” and “they’re probably going to pick on you.” Miles said he didn’t care, and at the time, he didn’t. But 10 years of bullying from children and adults took a lethal toll. On November 4, a substitute teacher refused to use his pronouns, saying, “I can call you whatever I want to, Miles.” The next day, the 15-year-old died by suicide.

His school, Urbandale High, issued a statement that left out what disciplinary action, if any, was given to the substitute, and added, “We remain steadfast in our dedication to cultivating a safe, caring and supportive learning environment for all students and staff.” Miles’ parents now work to ensure that every other trans child is heard before it’s too late. 

“I think it’s horrific that I had to lose my kid, or anyone has to lose their kid or their person,” Campbell said, “but I just want to give him a voice.”

Bullying was the reason Miles made two previous attempts on his life, Campbell added, once as recently as this past July. In that case, peers had posted videos online of other students destroying one of his sweatshirts and mocking his journal entries, she said. When Miles’ mental health seemed to improve, law enforcement and school staff warned  Miles’ parents against attempting to have the videos removed or pursuing consequences for those who posted them. 

As the 2025-26 school year drew near, Miles’ mental health again declined, prompting his parents to have him transfer to Urbandale High. And even though his parents signed forms required under a recent Iowa law to authorize schools to use pronouns that match a student’s gender identity, Miles had to still navigate teachers who refused to do so.

“Protecting trans kids is important and their rights. But so is just not being cruel, just being understanding,” Campbell told the Register. ” He never should have had to endure that.”

In recent years, legislative protections for LGBTQ+ students have been rolled back, especially those intended to help transgender and nonbinary youth. The Iowa law, SF 496, is best known  for banning instruction related to sexual orientation and gender identity through sixth grade. It also bans most books and media from schools if they mention or depict sex acts. At the federal level, President Trump has largely  dismantled the Education Department, ending enforcement of  policies intended to protect vulnerable students, and has  also ended federal support for schools engaging in practices that promote diversity, equity, and inclusion. These actions don’t bode well for LGBTQ+ youth. 

According to The Trevor Project’s 2024 National Survey, 39% of LGBTQ+ youth aged 13 to 24 seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, and 42%of trans and nonbinary Iowans said the same. Worse yet, 13% of trans and nonbinary respondents reported actually attempting suicide.