The Invisible World of Family Caregiving

Karla Rodriguez, 41, is one among roughly 63 million unpaid family caregivers in the United States. Were they paid for the services they provide voluntarily, their work would cost something like $600 billion per year – “more than all out-of-pocket spending on healthcare for everyone in the country,” Kat McGowan reported for NPR. 

Despite broad bipartisan support for policy intervention to offer caregivers relief, there is currently no federal assistance, and only a handful of states offer small tax credits or paid  leave to caregivers, leaving most of them to manage on their own. As such, depression, anxiety, and feelings of isolation are common among them – a reflection of the tangible costs carried by the people who make up an invisible, dedicated system of care.

As is the case for many caregivers, the role fell into Rodriguez’s lap in 2023. In her case, it came after her father took ill and an emergency department called her to see him. Their historically strained relationship meant that choosing to care for her father wasn’t easy – when she first arrived at his bedside, they didn’t even recognize each other – but it’s a choice she’s come to embrace. 

“I think I knew that I was the end of the line,” said Rodriguez, whose father has diabetes, HIV, and alcoholism. “If I hadn’t stepped up, he would be dead, and he would’ve been dead quickly. And I just could not, in good conscience, have that on my hands.” 

Perhaps unexpectedly, the time they’ve shared has enabled her to understand how his trauma shaped him, helping her to forgive him for his inconsistent presence as a  parent. “Oddly enough, I would say our relationship is better now than it’s been in years. And I never thought that my children would have a memory of him, and they actually look forward to seeing him now,” Rodriguez said.

She balances her caring responsibility with her job and her own parenting, but is always “on-call” – to convince him to go to dialysis, to handle issues with his bills, or to get something he urgently needs. It means she can never truly switch off, and yet it’s something she’s on her own with. “This is all pulling away time with my own children and my work.” Rodriguez said. “None of it stops. It’s all still there. And I think that’s something that caregivers constantly struggle with, which is, am I giving enough of myself to everyone who needs the care?”

Find more of McGowan’s caregiving stories on NPR, including this one: “Caregiving can test you, body and soul. It can also unlock a new sense of self.”

See also: MindSite News’ “Caregiving Expands Who You Are” and The Power and the Tool of Caregiving.