Dr. Barbara Greenberg on The Golden Bachelor and Gray Dating

Teen and family psychologist Barbara Greenberg, PhD, of Fairfield, Connecticut recently wrote about the popular reality show “The Golden Bachelor” in Psychology Today. “Both friends and clients were buzzing about this show, so as a lover of what is going on in our culture, I naturally tuned in,” wrote Greenberg, a MindSite News advisory board member. She found that the show’s second season star, Mel Owens, was an amiable, divorced 66-year-old lawyer and former football player. He had recently stated on a podcast that he preferred women ages 40 to 60 “who do not have artificial hips or wigs.” Instead, the reality show assigned him 23 women ages 58 to 77 to date.

Well! As Dr. Greenberg said, “ABC cleverly flipped the script on Mel (in terms of the women’s ages) and this has made the show that much more interesting.” The goal is for him to pick a life partner, and perhaps not surprisingly he began by apologizing for his podcast remarks. Greenberg reports that The Golden Bachelor is extremely popular with gray daters over 50, who enjoyed comparing themselves with the contestants in terms of accomplishments and self-care.

“The 50-plus-year-olds that I have spoken with report that the show has given them hope that you can be desirable and find companionship and romance after age 50,” she said, adding that some have even started dating again as a result.

But Dr. Greenberg noticed one issue that concerned her: The 23 contestants “all clearly idealized Mel,” a man they hardly knew. “My concern is that this is what happens in real life,” she says. “Simply because a man of a certain age is attractive and available does not mean that he is a man of solid character. Go on and enjoy this show. Have fun dating, but please stay away from idealizing potential partners…The takeaway from the show should be that self-care and socializing may be exciting and complicated, but chasing after a stranger is the stuff of reality TV.”